abomasnow:

do she got the booty?

she don’t

so-many-feels:

deucebowl:

If I were a magic wizard I wouldn’t harm people when they pissed me off, I’d just put these really fucked up random curses on them, like every time they saw a school bus they would shit their pants, or every time someone said the word Thursday they would pretend they were a dragon for 20 seconds.

i think you would be a very good wizard.

does anyone else have this other self theyve created in their mind that is not really exactly you irl but is more like what you want to be and has a life that continues in your head with like weird continuing daydreams but theyre not perfect or anything and wow i forget where i was going with this

jpierrepontcriss:

my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home